Mom's Always Late
by Eloísa Pérez-Lozano
Mom’s staying late at work again, and I wish she’d come home sooner. I sit on the floor against my bed, staring at the wall, waiting. Dad comes home first, and he always sends me to my room. I always rush to hug him hello, yearning to feel the warmth of his arms, but he always stops me and with a wave of his hand, I know where I have to go.
Later, I hear the front door open, and I know she’s home. I’ve tried running out to meet her hoping I can prevent the screaming and hitting, but I’m always too late so I stay in my room because I know she doesn’t want me to see what I know is happening.
I’ve already tucked myself in by the time she comes in to say good night. She always turns off the light before sitting beside me on my bed so I can’t see the brand-new bruises already blooming on her face. But it doesn’t matter because when I sit up to hug her, I feel her body shrink as I squeeze, and she knows I know.
Even so, she tries to hold back the pain provoked by my tender touch. She tries to hold back the joy of feeling safe in her son’s arms. She tries to hold back the tears that have already fallen into my hair.
Later, I hear the front door open, and I know she’s home. I’ve tried running out to meet her hoping I can prevent the screaming and hitting, but I’m always too late so I stay in my room because I know she doesn’t want me to see what I know is happening.
I’ve already tucked myself in by the time she comes in to say good night. She always turns off the light before sitting beside me on my bed so I can’t see the brand-new bruises already blooming on her face. But it doesn’t matter because when I sit up to hug her, I feel her body shrink as I squeeze, and she knows I know.
Even so, she tries to hold back the pain provoked by my tender touch. She tries to hold back the joy of feeling safe in her son’s arms. She tries to hold back the tears that have already fallen into my hair.
Eloísa Pérez-Lozano writes poems, flash, and essays about Mexican-American identity, women’s issues, and motherhood. She graduated from Iowa State University with a B.S. in psychology and an M.S. in journalism and mass communications. A Best of the Net-nominated writer, her work has been featured in Every Day Fiction, Houston Chronicle, and Poets Reading the News, among others. She lives with her family in Houston, Texas.