Seizure Villanelle
by Cheryl Savageau
...for Bill
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
He remembers this has happened once before
He felt like he was there, but wasn’t there
After only two years how can this be fair?
Now the EMTs are banging at the door
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
Those long twelve years without him, unaware
Now something’s happened deep within his core
He felt like he was there, but wasn’t there
I always expected his step upon the stair
the knock, his lips, his eyes, I wanted more
His smile over the kitchen table, his long white hair
I lived without him as if it were a dare
as if I were dancing on a ship too far from shore
I dreamed of him sometimes, but he wasn’t there
He said he had some poetry to share
I put the kettle on, two cups, coffee ready to pour
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
It was as if he was, but wasn’t there
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
He remembers this has happened once before
He felt like he was there, but wasn’t there
After only two years how can this be fair?
Now the EMTs are banging at the door
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
Those long twelve years without him, unaware
Now something’s happened deep within his core
He felt like he was there, but wasn’t there
I always expected his step upon the stair
the knock, his lips, his eyes, I wanted more
His smile over the kitchen table, his long white hair
I lived without him as if it were a dare
as if I were dancing on a ship too far from shore
I dreamed of him sometimes, but he wasn’t there
He said he had some poetry to share
I put the kettle on, two cups, coffee ready to pour
His head hanging over the table, his long white hair
It was as if he was, but wasn’t there
Cheryl Savageau is a poet, memoirist, and visual artist. Mother/Land. Her second book of poetry, Dirt Road Home, was a finalist for the Paterson Prize. She has won Fellowships in Poetry from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Massachusetts Artists Fellowship Program, and is a four-time MacDowell Fellow. Her memoir, Out of the Crazywoods, was published in 2020 by University of Nebraska Press. Her poetry is widely anthologized. She teaches at Breadloaf School of English at Middlebury College.