An Empty Shell

by Sinead Mcguigan

I carry a dead baby in my arms
How cold her small hand is in mine
My warm tears fall into the
Empty hollows of her eyes

Her blue lips want to cry out
She was never felt loved
She never felt save
Once wrapped in human fragility
She was broken into an empty shell
of denial
of mistrust
of despair

The dead baby had a heart
Beating in a chest of confusion
The dead baby had a name until
She stepped away from herself
Bleeding faithless for too long
That dead baby was me

Send her light
Send her healing
Send her hope

I carry the moon so
My younger self can glow
Grow in glorious dreams not
Earthy endurance

I carry the sun so
My children don't
Burn in rage or hate
They can shine in a
World where fear or darkness rules

I carry the stars to
Guide myself
Redesigning my future
Filling vast empty spaces
Creating time

I carry the earth
Laden with memories
Time to heal so
My children can shape
A new human experience
Time to remember
Time to heal

I carry that child into
A world unknown
To feel the love my children feel

I look to the sky
Cutting barriers into lines
The sky holding my secrets
I just sit and watch the clouds roll by
​
I carry me
This heart of anguish
Cloaked under a darkest sky
Until I am ready to forgive
I grieve and cry

I am me
Send me light
Send me hope
Send myself me

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Sinead Mcguigan is an Irish poet who explores the human condition through surrealism and dark imagery. She has had many poems published in magazines and also has two solo collections available on Amazon. She has a loyal following on Instagram @sineadmcgpoetry, where you can also see her love for artwork and music.