Ashes of a Suicide
by Sandeep Kumar Mishra
As we played curse of tongues so long,
I go alone on worn out routes
with lonely societal road
after so many accidents in
pathways of daily burdens
They injected “delusion of negation”
in my identity veins,
I although never had
“flash flood of emotions”,
I want to live even by eating
char-grilled inner self
Now a black hole,
I decided to be one with
this constellation of
migraine, tablets, syringe,
backache and insomnia
that had emerged around
I tied my wife's red “sari”
around my disconnected neck,
a reflection of my smiling daughter
was in the mirrored almirah
Devil instinct drown into the
deep vastness of human frailty against
earthly emotions, an inner tide
hit me down unconscious
How angry I was for not
being among the dead?
That kind of energy I needed
to stay alive and I understood that
An ocean emerges from
the death of the rivers
I go alone on worn out routes
with lonely societal road
after so many accidents in
pathways of daily burdens
They injected “delusion of negation”
in my identity veins,
I although never had
“flash flood of emotions”,
I want to live even by eating
char-grilled inner self
Now a black hole,
I decided to be one with
this constellation of
migraine, tablets, syringe,
backache and insomnia
that had emerged around
I tied my wife's red “sari”
around my disconnected neck,
a reflection of my smiling daughter
was in the mirrored almirah
Devil instinct drown into the
deep vastness of human frailty against
earthly emotions, an inner tide
hit me down unconscious
How angry I was for not
being among the dead?
That kind of energy I needed
to stay alive and I understood that
An ocean emerges from
the death of the rivers
Sandeep Kumar Mishra is a bestselling author, an outsider artist, a poet, and a lecturer. He is a guest poetry editor at Indian Poetry Review. He has received many awards, including the Readers' Favorite Silver Award, the Indian Achievers Award, the IPR Annual Poetry Award, and the Literary Titan Book Award. Find out more about him at www.sandeepkumarmishra.com.