Deathless
by Jess Roses
there is no church
that can grant me sanctuary
from myself.
there is no chapel
where confession could make any difference
my sin
is living.
there is no cross
that could cast these demons from me;
i have to believe
i carry them
for a reason.
and yea though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death
my own psalms are with me
scribbled on my palms, smudged
from the way i pray
with fists curled hard and tight. i do not comfort me
but i
keep walking;
time ties knots inside
to count the years--no comfort here
but enough rage
to keep me fed for centuries.
the shadow of death curls in on himself
and like an oil slick swirls into a raven
landing on my shoulder soft as ash. death makes fast friends
of those
who deign to sing in the dark
and keep their rage alive, stoking it like fire.
death teaches his friends:
to curl in on ourselves and become other things,
death teaches us
to unfurl wings,
teaches
us
to be deathless--
like a raven
like a story
like a dream.
that can grant me sanctuary
from myself.
there is no chapel
where confession could make any difference
my sin
is living.
there is no cross
that could cast these demons from me;
i have to believe
i carry them
for a reason.
and yea though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death
my own psalms are with me
scribbled on my palms, smudged
from the way i pray
with fists curled hard and tight. i do not comfort me
but i
keep walking;
time ties knots inside
to count the years--no comfort here
but enough rage
to keep me fed for centuries.
the shadow of death curls in on himself
and like an oil slick swirls into a raven
landing on my shoulder soft as ash. death makes fast friends
of those
who deign to sing in the dark
and keep their rage alive, stoking it like fire.
death teaches his friends:
to curl in on ourselves and become other things,
death teaches us
to unfurl wings,
teaches
us
to be deathless--
like a raven
like a story
like a dream.
Jess Roses (she/her) is a chronically ill, neurodivergent creator. Her focus is the transformation of relationships with pain and the taboo, exploring how these communal experiences relate to structures within and without the psyche. Her work has been published in Ghost Girls Zine, Gaia Lit, YAWP Literary Journal, and Misandry Zine, with upcoming works in Coffin Bell Journal, Seaglass Literary, Wishbone Words Magazine, and Lovers Literary Journal. You can find her on Instagram at @vvitchprincess.