Rotten to the Core

by Shelby Catalano

My outward shell is bright with glaze
Its color mirrored brilliantly
But what they don’t all see inside
Would make them see me differently
 
I’m rotten to my core, you see
The flesh decaying pus
Their happiness, my jealousy
Ire steaming within the muck
 
I do not tell them anything
Pride keeps it sewn inside
If they really knew how I felt
I’d much rather have died
 
Evaporating dust and ash
My blood has lost vitality
Ambrosia poured upon concrete
Destroying practicality
 
I suffer in silence willingly
Never to be discovered
That loneliness chewed my bones
To a fossil all but smothered
 
Forgotten and irrelevant
Hope sinks into the ground
Concealing my every shame
As I’m finally unfound
 
Being alone a siren’s song
That soothes with absolution
The groundwater now welcomes me
Finality in resolution
 
My goodbye comes with peace
Next priority my home
Watching outside the looking glass
With nowhere left to roam
 
Guts unfurl with no remorse
My tears my skin my marrow
I cannot hide it anymore
Ah, rotting is such sweet sorrow

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Shelby Catalano is a Pacific Northwest based poet and writer. She’s been published in Poetically Magazine and the Deviant: Chronicles of Pride anthology from Inkfeathers Publishing. Her debut poetry collection From Hope to Heartbreak is coming out later this year. She enjoys circus arts, used bookstores, and nebulously traveling to chase off existential dread. Visit www.shelbycatalano.com to learn more.